Reviews of Movies I Haven’t Seen (Spring 2010 edition)

April 30, 2010

This particular posting, a favorite of mine, gets harder to pull off each time because as it turns out, with all the remakes these days I HAVE SEEN THESE FILMS… even if I haven’t.

Here goes:

CLASH OF THE TITANS 3-D

Grade: C-

Read the rest of this entry »

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How Google brings me to you…

April 23, 2010

One of the most fascinating things about writing a blog (perhaps the only fascinating thing) is the window it opens into the world of Google searches.  On the statistics page of any blog you can see a list of Google search terms that people used to find you.

Now in my particular case, I’m betting 98% of these people were disappointed.  The “good” traffic a blog gets usually comes from people who subscribe to your  blog or click on a link from someone suggesting your blog.  The Google searches, well they tend to be people looking for someone else.

And what they’re looking for.  Well… it’s strange.  Often funny.  Sometimes terrifying.

The # 1 search term used to find my blog?

Guesses, anyone?

That’s right.

“Hitler mustache” Read the rest of this entry »


Guess the Pseudo-Celebrity!

April 18, 2010

One of the true signs of aging (aside from tweaking your back out from looking over your shoulder while parallel parking) occurs when your knowledge of pop culture begins to fade rapidly.

I can’t say this is necessarily a bad thing.  I think the aging brain determines that most information is useless and thus it deliberately chooses to be more selective about what it remembers as its capacity for learning decreases.

Seems like a good plan.

Anyhoo, what was I talking about?  I’ve completely forgotten.

But I have noticed something recently.  I’m out of touch and proud of it.  Apparently there are some really really famous people floating around these days and I have no idea what they’re famous for.  So let me take a guess:

  • Justin Bieber???

Well, from the looks of this photo — backwards baseball hat, hand gestures — I’m guessing he’s famous for being a new type of gang member.  Young and cute and white, but still deadly as f–k.  I’m guessing he’s rubbed out at least 12 dudes just for looking at him the wrong way.  And he has no tolerance for bitches and/or hos. Read the rest of this entry »


Less enjoyable than taxes???

April 12, 2010

With tax day quickly approaching I started to reflect about money.  How we choose to spend it, how we hope not to spend it.  What we enjoy spending it on and what we’re obligated to spend it on.  And I came to one conclusion–

It’s not the amount of money one departs with that causes pain and agony, it’s the level of satisfaction one gets in return that determines our financial angst.

Meaning:

Some things are just NO FUN to spend money on.

Top 10 Least Enjoyable Ways to Spend Money: Read the rest of this entry »


I love my iPad, but how ’bout some new “iVentions”?

April 6, 2010

Yes, I bought an iPad.  I’m one of those people.   I didn’t realize I was one of those people until I found myself standing in line in front of the Apple Store Saturday morning at 9:00 a.m., anxiously awaiting reports as to whether the supply would meet the exhaustive demand of the eager line of dweebs. As it turns out, all dweebs were satisfied.  Like everything else in life – Y2K, Obama, anything George Lucas has touched since 1980 – the reality didn’t live up to the hype.  There were no iPad shortages.   Nobody left empty handed, wondering how without an iPad they could possibly manage to do… er… whatever the hell you’re supposed to do with an iPad.

*note to the faintly impressed. I’m writing this post on my iPad! You can type with it. Imagine that! A device you can type on!  What will they think of next?

Well, instead of posting what is probably the 90,000th iPad blog review I figured I would turn my attention to what every Apple fetishist wonders most — WHAT’S NEXT?

What else do we need? The iPad is a super fun gadget, this much I’ll reveal (oops, I guess i should have posted “spoiler alert!“) but certainly there are other aspects of modern living that could use an assist from Steve Jobs and his crew of magical elf nerds.   So what should they work on next?

Here are some suggestions: Read the rest of this entry »


Girl Scout Cookies

April 1, 2010

MY GRADE:

Little question for you…

Why are girl scouts still selling those awful cookies?  Are they trying to collectively knock us off as a nation?  It’s certainly possible.   If you take a look at the side of any box of their cookies you may start to see some validity to my theory: Read the rest of this entry »