Teenagers of 2024: Here’s a glimpse…

My 2 1/2 year old son will undoubtedly live in a very different world than the one I grew up in (known to VH1 as the “totally ’80’s).  Some things he should expect:

  • Due to technology and it’s erotic implications, the “bases” will all change.  They will be as follows:

1st base: texting back and forth with winking emoticons

2nd base:  “Sexting”

3rd base:  Virtual dry humping (not sure what this will be like but I guarantee it’s on the way)

Home Run:  Instant Messaging in the same hot tub


  • He won’t know what a phone cord is.  He won’t know what a rotary phone is.  He will watch an old movie where the President picks up the “Red Phone” and wonder where the apps are stored.
  • Facebook will become it’s own virtual country — and it will win the World Cup in a close 2-1 match over The United States of Twitter.
  • There will be remote controls that only have one function — to find your other remote controls.
  • He will either be cyberbullied or (hopefully not) he will be the cyberbully.  Either way, it’s pretty much assured a “cyber-wedgie” won’t be as painful as the “analogue” version I grew up with.
  • He will have to learn how to kill zombies in order to survive
  • Mickey Rourke’s face will look exactly the same.  And I don’t mean that in a good way.
  • Football players will wear iPads as protective gear and as a way to stream funny You Tube videos in between downs.
  • The robot uprising will take care of 90% of the zombie problem.
  • He will dig up my old blog posts and dad’s attempts at “comedy” will embarrass him.
  • There will only be 3 “official” Indiana Jones movies, and that disappointing 4th one with the aliens will be retitled “Star Wars: Episode 7 — Han Solo forgets to shave”

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3 Responses to Teenagers of 2024: Here’s a glimpse…

  1. teo says:

    hahahaha that was so funny, 10x David 🙂
    I’m pretty sure that someday your son will find that particular post and will lol and rofl a lot 😀

  2. ;.` I am very thankful to this topic because it really gives up to date information ;,:

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